I sit in a room full of teenage girls who live in the deep. The deep dark beyond, where most will never have to venture.
Discussion begins. Failure rate of condoms. Vaginal pain. Wet dreams. Sex drive. HIV transmission. Erections. Pregnancy. Spontaneous abortion. Traditional medicines. Reusing condoms. Sex to cure illness? Can the penis fall off? Forced intercourse. Female circumcision.
There is hysterical laughter, utter confusion, years of misguidance, and deep pain.
Immense poverty. Lack of choice. Squandered power. Poor education. Failing health. Reality of life.
The real shit of humanity that we neglect.
The uncomfortable, ugly, trampled, discarded, divorced truth of humanity. It is everywhere, we all have this humanity stuffed down out shirt sleeves, tucked under the bed, folded neatly in the underwear drawer, hiding in the cupboards. Tidy little packages of humanity, carefully wrapped up with bows on top. We spend so much time making our shit look pretty.
Here, the deep is not pretty.
These girls are not afraid, they wade through the mucky waters day after day, in a beautiful world full of the dirty deep.
Conversation turns to the power of choice, and our ability to declare our power, and create the lives that we seek. The idea is introduced that maybe- we are who we say we are. Silence falls as they ponder these words. It is a beautiful view, a room full of wonder filled eyes looking inward, who do I say that I am?
My eyes too turn inward and I wonder- If I am who I say that I am, what am I willing to give, and what will it take to stand in the deep?
5 comments:
this was truly perfect. i love that i completely get you, and what you're writing here. i posted it on my blog and gave you a shout out.
you inspire me and i'm honored to have you as a friend. i crave and love your authenticity, and i patiently await the day when we live in the same city (chicago!)
love love
Quinn,
I look forward every day to checking your blog to see if there is some new piece of yourself that I can consume and tuck away in that special place I have, behind the walls, beyond the pain and fear. I feel as if you are living inside me sometimes. Your words and thoughts ground me. They slowly but surely imperceptively change me from the inside out. I wonder if you realize just how many boundaries you transcend and people you are able to touch in such a meaningful way. You have left a lasting imprint on my heart and mind. Because of you, I will never be the same as I was before. I truly wish that I could have done the type of traveling and work that you are doing. I still long for it, but it doesn't seem practical given the circumstances of my life. This is where it pays to be young and unencumbered. ; ) I guess that's why so much of what you see and describe resonates with a deep part of me. I love you for what you are doing. I love you more for doing what's not easy, for taking those risks, for being uncertain at times but going for it anyway. There is such an amazing spirit in you. I am so grateful to be touched by it. I really miss you, my friend. Always...with love.
Rachael
you are doing it. getting in deep. love you.
Oh my. We are who we say we are. That's powerful, Quinn. Love you. Paige
Thank you Quinn. The deep thanks you for shining a light on it. Big Love from Big Mom
Post a Comment